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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27323194">Dear.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyloft/pseuds/skyloft'>skyloft</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Moments of Endearment [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxiety Attacks, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Mentions of other characters - Freeform, Pregnancy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 22:07:53</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,027</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27323194</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/skyloft/pseuds/skyloft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>‘Anxiety’ was simply not a term in his vocabulary, and it was going to stay that way. No, absolutely nothing could ever change such a thing.</p>
<p>Or so he had thought.</p>
<p>It had first started as a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, and it had been shortly after discovering his mate was with child. Although it was there, lurking just beneath the surface, Sesshoumaru could easily squash the sensation and put his focus elsewhere. He was much too busy with other things. Time and focus was not something he was willing to give to such a wretched feeling.</p>
<p>No, there was only time for the important things.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kikyou/Sesshoumaru (InuYasha)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Moments of Endearment [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1994800</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dear.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Is this a sequel to 'Beautiful.'? Who knows. I just felt like writing this because the idea of Sesshoumaru brushing Kikyo's hair as an act of love and intimacy was just too good. I love the idea.</p>
<p>Hope ya'll enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Lord Sesshoumaru, the Great Demon Lord of the Western Lands, was not the anxious sort. Never once had he ever doubted himself or his capabilities to defeat an opponent — or so he has said — and he had been adamant that it was unlikely to change any time soon. Not even Naraku himself — the vile insect that he had been — had ever sparked anything but disgust and annoyance. Practically everyone was beneath him in terms of skill and nobility; a lion did not concern itself with the opinion of sheep, after all.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span><em>‘Stubborn and proud as the day we met,’</em> Kikyo would joke, a hint of a smile on her lips. He was inclined to agree with his beloved.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>‘Anxiety’ was simply not a term in his vocabulary, and it was going to stay that way. No, absolutely nothing could ever change such a thing.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Or so he had thought.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It had first started as a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, and it had been shortly after discovering his mate was with child. Although it was there, lurking just beneath the surface, Sesshoumaru could easily squash the sensation and put his focus elsewhere. He was much too busy with other things. Time and focus was not something he was willing to give to such a wretched feeling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No, there was only time for the important things.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Like when Rin would come visit to spend time with them, happily flitting up and about while chatting about all the new things she was experiencing in the village. Kikyo would often offer advice to the young girl, and other times, she would offer stories of her own past experiences. The two would spend hours talking and playing while Sesshoumaru would watch them, happy to observe them and occasionally taking part in the activities whenever Rin would ask. There were even times where Kohaku would tag along with Rin, filling the compound with even more energy and warmth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>No, Sesshoumaru was much too busy with his home, with his family. There was certainly no time to focus on such useless feelings.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But then he began to get restless and clingy…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kikyo had noticed it first. He was touching her more often; holding her hand, kissing her, hugging her, and even touching the growing swell of her stomach. If there was an opportunity to touch her when they were together — be it in a platonic or a sensual way — he would do so. It shocked not only Inuyasha and Kagome (the few times that they came to visit), but Rin as well when they saw the new behavior. While it wasn’t a secret that the two of them were affectionate with each other, neither Kikyo nor Sesshoumaru had ever been so public about it. No, that was typically reserved for just moments between them, where they could focus on nothing but each other.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Out of all things, however, his most favorite seemed to be playing with her hair before they slept. If she let him, Sesshoumaru would spend the entire time while they were in bed just running his clawed hands through the dark strands. Touching her had always been soothing to him, but something about touching her hair just felt so intimate and hushed away the strange feeling lingering under his skin. It made him forget. And although Kikyo never seemed to say anything about it, she would always nestle herself closer to him until there was no space between them and then drift off to sleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Nothing else mattered, and the world was at peace.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And he was fine. Just fine. So long as she was there, he was fine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Eventually, as his mate’s belly grew and the feeling began to deepen, the act of playing with her hair became a common occurrence just as the other acts of touching had. It was as if he needed to do so to keep himself grounded when the feeling was beginning to get too much, and Kikyo knew this.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Kikyo always knew.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span><em>‘Will you brush my hair?’</em> she would ask seemingly out of nowhere, always gently touching him and offering her lovely smile all while chasing away the sinking feeling. The demon lord would always comply, taking painstaking time to brush through all the inky tresses as gently as possible. She would always rest against him afterwards, both of their hands on her belly — soft and warm and lovely — and they would spend countless minutes just like that, cooing and humming whenever either would feel their child’s kicks.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was only today — a particularly bad day if he was honest — that Sesshoumaru could no longer ignore the feeling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Now, Sesshoumaru had always been quite territorial when it came to Kikyo — and no, it most certainly wasn’t because of what his mate and his half-brother once had, absolutely not — but he had never hovered over her before. Logically, he knew that his mate was more than capable of taking care of herself; she proved it on more than one occasion against countless demons. Even so, it was almost like all his nerves were on edge, and he was ready to attack anything that came remotely close to her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That included his little brother and his brother’s mate.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Inuyasha and Kagome had come to visit them, both because they were excited that the time for the birth was fast approaching and also to discuss the process for that time. And it had all been fine — lovely even — until Inuyasha looked at Kikyo in a peculiar way that didn’t sit well with the demon lord. So one moment, the women were talking in the gardens about how Kagome was going to help during the process to ensure the safety of both mother and child, the very next had Sesshoumaru holding his sword against Inuyasha’s throat and baring his teeth at him. This, of course, resulted in a commotion that had both women effectively pulling the two brothers away from each other. On the heels of that, Kagome dragged Inuyasha out, leaving behind the two mates at a standstill.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Silence filled the space between them, but Sesshoumaru could feel his heart beating in his ears. She wasn’t even looking at him, and yet he stood frozen in place. Even if he tried to reach out to her, she was too far out of reach.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>One beat, two beat, three beat. Four.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Why did you do that?” Her words sunk deep into him, the cool softness of her voice almost brash against his ears. “They were only here to help me prepare for the child. Our child.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It hurt enough to know that she was greatly upset with him, but the hurt was twofold the moment she turned around, a subtle frown on her face and her eyes guarded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She was waiting for an answer.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And Sesshoumaru, the Great Demon Lord that he was, had never felt so small before another.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Restlessness poured into him, his skin suddenly too tight. The feeling in the pit of his stomach gnawed its way through his entire being right then and there, mercilessly wrapping around his heart.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“A lapse in judgement.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He knew it wasn’t the answer Kikyo was looking for, but he found it hard to speak past the lump that was growing in his throat, hard to think rationally at all. His eyes were even beginning to lose focus from how overwhelming the feeling was beginning to grow. She seemed to have noticed this, her upset giving way to worry. Just knowing that he was causing her to worry made him feel worse.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was like he couldn’t breathe, as if he was going to die right in that instant.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He wanted to run.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Sesshoumaru, I’m right here. I’m with you.” The careful gentleness in Kikyo’s voice reminded him of how she would speak to a frightened child, of how she would speak to Rin or Kohaku when they would wake crying from a nightmare: soothing and assuring. Although he could hear her words, his sight was failing him and everything within him was still screaming to escape. The demon in him began clawing its way out of him, desperate to get away from this moment, from this feeling.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He could not be this weak.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Sesshoumaru was not sure when he had crumbled into himself on the floor or when his mate had gotten so close to him, but he could feel the warmth of her aura around him. It ebbed and flowed in gentle waves, pressing against him and embracing him. The tenseness in his body began lessening as he accepted it. And part of him relished at how comforting and familiar it was to him now, how it soothed him as much as touching her usually did and how he could feel how deeply her love ran. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But the other part…</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The other part was ashamed that his mate had to see him like this, broken like a frightened child that was overwhelmed by the world. His pride as a demon lord could not — absolutely would not — tolerate such weakness in him. Weakness could get them killed. Not to mention the shame that such a thing would bring. And shame was not something he was accustomed to either. But she knew that.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She always knew.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Whatever you need, I am here. Focus on me, focus on what I do.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The demon lord tensed for a moment, trying to prepare himself for what would happen next. His panic-filled mind was prepared for the absolute worst, but then she touched him. Her fingers were grazing against his cheek marks, sweet and coaxing like her honeyed-tone voice. The tenderness of her actions and the realness of her touch pierced through the panic, reaching down deep and comforting him and soothing little by little. The rushing of his own heart in his ears waned, letting him focus on other things again. She was resting her forehead against his, her inky hair a shield against the rest of the world around them. He could smell her scent again, her scent of bellflowers and rain. And if he narrowed in on it, he could smell their child’s scent on her too.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Their child. His child.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>‘Mine.’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Listen to my heartbeat, and breathe with me.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Breathing in time with Kikyo took an absurd amount of effort in this moment, but Sesshoumaru pushed past all the other things that were still coursing through his mind and body. His golden eyes were open and focusing on her, taking in every detail that he could. Her heartbeat, strong and steady, was like music to his ears. Her breaths were hushed, heavy and filled with unspoken words.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>As if she was breathing new life into him, settling the storm that had raged within him just seconds before. Like molten gold filling in the cracks of a broken cup.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was then that he realized just how much he depended on her, how much he needed her in his life. He would never be able to go back to how he was. No, he didn’t want to go back to a life without her.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And perhaps that was what had scared him most.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Kikyo…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>At the sound of her name, she pulled back and looked at him right in the eye, careful and loving, and it left the demon lord warm. It was his turn to touch her now, taking the time to caress her face and admire the smile that tugged at her lips. She had never been more beautiful than she was in that moment.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <em>
    <span>He loved her. He loved her so, so much.</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They didn’t speak for a long while, staying in each other’s embrace until the feeling in him finally dissipated into nothing. But even so, the two shared a silent conversation between gentle touches and honest looks. He was fearful of losing her and she was just as afraid of losing him. And they were both fearful of losing their family.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But they were okay. She was okay, and he was okay. And they were happy. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And that was more than enough. Their family would always be more than enough.</span>
</p>
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